They said YES!

The pay check payers said yes. My leave has received the big red stamp. In just six weeks I shall be jetting off to not-so-sunny South Africa. Regular thrill a minute over here, I tell you!

That doesn't mean I've booked or paid for my ticket yet. Crikey, they're about $2000, and who has that kind of cash just lying around - or sitting in one's checking account? Certainly not me. So I shall wait until next pay day - two weeks from now - and dive into my bank account once it has been replenished with green things and pay for my 26-hour debacle across the Atlantic Ocean.

Does this metal monstrosity with wings fly direct to Grab-Your-Gun-We're-Landing-At-Joburg-International? Hell no. It stops off in Senegal. This is not a prescription drug manufactured by GSK. This is in fact a country in Africa.

From the 15th century onwards, poor Senegal has been raped and pillaged by the Portuguese, by the Dutch, and then the British. Finally, the French came out of their drunken stupor caused by the ingestion of copious amounts of champagne - and on their way from a summer getaway in Franschoek - and decided they too wanted a turn.

In Senegal, they speak French. And they are Muslim. And the country has 11 million people. So why on earth does my flight stop in Dakar, Senegal? Is it to reload with African baskets to take down to Jo'burg? I think not. We have our own African baskets, thank you very much. Maybe some of those lovely colorful blankets? Nope, we have those too.

My only thought is that perhaps the pilots need a bit of shut-eye before trekking on down the Dark Continent. Yes, that must be it.

Either way, it's a long flight. I don't like long flights. I hope they serve copious amounts of booze. Perhaps I can drink myself into an alcohol-induced coma, stumble off the plane in Jo'burg, dodge a bullet or two, board another plane and land just slightly intoxicated. Yes, my family who hasn't seen me in over three years would be thrilled. Not to mention I'd look and smell like shit!

Oh hell, Ambien it is then!