Sick calls

When I fall ill, which is not too often, I return to an infant-like state, requiring constant attention. Either that, or just fill me up with strong antibiotics and let me sleep for 48 hours solid. THAT, my avid readers, in my idea of heaven. But alas, for some, they prefer a more primitive route:

When someone is bed-ridden, homebound, or in the hospital, the priest will make a "sick call" to ensure the person receives the Eucharist -- an especially important duty around Easter time (the priest will hear Confession if necessary). In cases of possible death, he will offer Extreme Unction (in such a situation, call the priest as soon as possible, day or night!). Unction is a separate Sacrament that includes what follows below and also an annointing with Oleum Infirmorum (the Oil of the Sick).

For a regular sick call (i.e., one that doesn't include Unction), call your priest and, when he comes, remember that he will be bringing the Blessed Sacrament, the very Body of Christ. Men should remove any headcoverings, while women should cover their heads (I have no idea why - must be a patriarchal thing), and the house should be prepared accordingly. Now prepare the sick room itself:

Set up a table near the bed in a place where the sick person can see it, and cover it with a white cloth.

Place on the table the crucifix with a lit blessed candle on each side, a dish of holy water, a piece of palm (if you have some) that the priest can use to spinkle the holy water, and a dish of regular water. Some families include a small bell that the priest or sick person rings after Confession is complete (if Confession is received) to summon the family back into the room.

Lay a linen cloth across the breast of the sick person.

When the Priest arrives, meet him in silence at the door while carrying a lit blessed candle, genuflect, and lead him to the sickroom. Kneel, and stay with him and the sick one, offering your prayers, but do leave the room if Confession is to be heard, closing the door behind you. When the priest opens the door again, or rings the bell that some families include with their sick call sets, you may re-enter.

It is good to have a sick call set all ready in your family altar so in case of need you can just grab it. Crucifixes that hang on the wall, but then open up to reveal two small candles and a vial of holy water, and which can be set up on a table can be purchased from Catholic gift shops under the name "sick call sets," but you can make your own.

The Ritual
The priest enters the sick room itself.

V. Pax huic dómui.
R. Et ómnibus habitántibus in ea.

Of course this is said in Latin because Latin cures all ailments.

The priest lays the corporal on the prepared table, places the Blessed Sacrament on it, and sprinkles the room with Holy Water.

Aspérges me, Dómine, hyssópo, et mundábor; lavábis me, et super nivem dealbábor, Miserére mei, Deus: secúndum magnam misericordiam tuam. Glora Patri, et Filii, et Spiritui Sancti.

Translation for non-Latin speakers: "Cleanse me of sin with hyssop, Lord, that I may be purified; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow, Have mercy on me, O God, according to Thy great mercy. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost."

Exáudi nos, Dómine sancte, Paer omnípotens, aeterne Deus: et mittere dignéris sanctum Angelum tuum de caelis, qui custódiat, fóveat, prótegat, visitet atque deféndat omnes habitántes in hoc habitáculo. Per Christum Dominum nostrum.

Very medieval when you have a religious person playing the part of a doctor and rambling off random things in Latin. How do we know that he was not rattling off his shopping list? Butter, bread, deodorant, People magazine, wood polish for my crucifix.

The priest goes closer to the sick person and, if necessary, hears his confession, in which case all others leave the room (if the sick call set includes a bell, family members can be summoned after confession by using it). Afterward, the Eucharist is given as it usually is outside of Mass, but the sick person, if possible, says the "Confiteor" and the "Domine non sum dignus" with the priest.

Confíteor Deo omnipoténti, beátæ Maríæ semper Vírgini, beáto Michaéli Archángelo, beáto Joanni Baptístæ, sanctis Apóstolis Petro et Paulo, ómnibus Sanctis, et tibi, Pater: quia peccávi nimis cogitatióne, verbo et ópere: mea culpa [strike breast] , mea culpa [strike breast] , mea máxima culpa [strike breast]. Ideo precor beátam Maríam semper Vírginem, beátum Michaélem Archángelum, beátum Joánnem Baptístam, sanctos Apóstolos Petrum et Paulum, omnes Sanctos, et te, Pater, oráre pro me ad Dóminum Deum nostrum. [the priest then says the Misereátur].

Okay, now it's this striking the chest thing that has me bothered. If someone is on their death bed, should you really be repeatedly striking them on the chest? Why not just let the poor sick guy go in peace? Nope, make a fist and pound his chest. Maybe there's a lazy Latin demon lurking around, who knows.