Where is all the copy?

"Yes, it's nice, but ... it's missing something."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's missing something."

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, where's all the copy?"

"This is a visual metaphor. It doesn't need reams and reams of copy."

"I understand, but we need to explain the product benefits."

"But we've done that, here, in the visual. Can't you see it?"

"I see a pretty picture. But I don't see any benefit. I don't see paragraphs of copy."

"But it doesn't need paragraphs. It doesn't even need a single line of copy."

"You're a copywriter, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Then what was your contribution to this, this, ad?"

"I brainstormed with my art director and we came up with the idea together."

"No. I see a picture. I don't see words. I want to see words. Do your job."

"But ..."

"No. There are no buts about it. Don't try and sell me an ad with no copy. Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"I didn't say that. I was just saying ..."

"You've said more than enough, young man. I'm much older than you are. I have been selling this product since before you were a scratch in your father's scrotum. And you come in here with your high falooting ideas of winning some fancy shmancy advertising award with this work. Let me tell you something, sonny. I know what wins awards. And this, this picture you call an ad won't win diddly squat. You here me? And the people out there who buy my product will never understand this."

"You saying the consumer is an idiot? A moron?"

"They are brain-dead morons, yes."

"Who does most of the shopping in your household, Mr. Client?"

"What type of stupid question is that? My wife of course!"

"I see. So then your wife is a consumer?"

"Oh I see where you're going with this and I warn you sonny. My wife attended one of the nation's top colleges. She's no dummy."

"I didn't say she was, Mr. Client. I am merely tring to point out that ..."

"Okay, it's settled then. You'll come up with another campaign. One with a hellava lot more copy than this one does."

"What? No, we never ..."

"See you all next week. Thank you for wasting my time."

Gotta love clients ;-)