Take 18 of these and if you're still conscious in a month, call me

So I went to the doctor today. Never a fun experience, going to one's doctor.

She started scribbling vigorously in her little prescription pad. She upped my dosage and threw in some Trazodone for good measure because I've been having trouble sleeping. And then a referral for an ENT doctor, and a referral to a dietitian because my BMI is borderline underweight. Visits to my doctor are like Christmas. Giving, giving, and more giving. Fortunately, she is the one doing most of the giving. Who am I to say no to a prescription?

As I'm scooping my long face up off the floor, she asks me if I'd like a flu shot, as if she's handing handing out candy to eager kids. Now not to sound like a 3-year old, but I am terrified of needles. Then I figured winters here are bitterly cold and I don't want to spend weeks in bed feeling death warmed over, I say okay. Sensing her victory, she decides to push her luck:

"While we're at it, would you also like a Pneumonia shot?"

Oh I know, while you're at it, why not just send me to a freakin' acupuncturist, why don't you?! What do I look like, lady? A pin cushion? Easy of the needle happiness there! My arms themselves look like to needles, so watch where you jab that thing.

Four pieces of paper. Two jabs. $10. I love it.

"See me in a month," she says. "Or if they don't work, call me and I'll call you back."

Ya ya, let's see. Just keep those injection things in the drawer. And try not to make your needle glee so obvious.