Just a little off the end, please

The story goes that Pinocchio began life as a simple pine log, and was given to a man called Maestro Ciliegia who planned to carve him into a leg for his table. When he began, however, a little voice cried out, "No, don’t hurt me!" Disturbed by the talking log, Maestro Ciliegia continued to carve the piece of wood, when again the little voice wailed its pain. Becoming frustrated and confused, Maestro Ciliegia eventually gave up trying to carve the wood, and gave it to his friend, the carpenter Geppetto, who carved wooden dolls.

As Geppetto carved the puppet, the nose began to grow. As soon as Pinocchio's nose had been carved, it grew with his congenital impudence.

Today, a friend of mine shall be Pinocchio, and a plastic surgeon shall be Gepetto.

Yes, my friend is having her nose tipped, carved, and sculpted. But because the procedure involves a hammer and a chisel to remove cartilage, it is more like carving a wooden nose than I first thought.

And like Pinocchio, my friend is a little worried about feeling pain. Luckily for her, this is not 1883 and the procedure will not be sculpted by a carpenter. These days, they use sharper things and afterwards, they give you happy pills that take away any semblance of pain and instead induce a state of euphoria. The constant tapping around the eyes, however, will induce a bruised look – much like a panda.

But in a few months, I’m guessing her nose will be just the way she wants it. Short. And not wooden. Like Pinocchio’s.