Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Snap. Crackle. Pop.

Sometimes we are made to wonder if some people are born with one of these bendy thingys. Fortunately, I was born with one, and today the Chiropractor dude went CRACK CRACK CRACK to mine.

But we need to ask why I decided to see the Back Cracker in the first place.

My friend D told me he saw this very same Back Cracker and felt marvelous afterwards. I too wanted to feel this marvel. So I went to see this marvel maker. He took x-rays of my curvy back bone, took a nutrition test, and all sorts of wonderful things. But no readjustment (as they call the back cracking procedure).

Today I went in and saw the x-rays. Yowza. Apparently I am developing "horns" on three vertabrae in my neck and there's a pinched nerve in my lower back.

"You'll need to come in about three times a week for the first 12 weeks," said Back Cracker.

Mmmmmm, three back crackings a week? But why? Because apparently if I don't have these sessions, I could develop arthritis as an old man. And this is something, along with incontinence and erectile dysfunction, that I do not want.

So off I go to the Back Cracker three times a week. It's going to cost the same as the annual GDP of a small South American country. And I no longer have health insurance because I got the axe from my previous saltmine.

Oh well, I guess it must be done.

1 comment:

WRM said...

I feel your pain. I have spondylilosis. Or spondiloliolosis. That's a spine thing too.I have been told to do physio in order to avoid back surgery in the future. Pain.