Sometimes when someone loses one's job, one calls up the Department of Labor & Industry so as to extend one's hand in a manner equivalent to begging for money. I did this for a while. And now, my claiming period is over so I needed to call to re-open my claim otherwise I shall have no more money dripping into my bank account.
They ask a barrage of questions:
DLI: This is X, thank you for playing the "20,000 Useless Questions So That You Can Claim Your Unemployment" game. How may I help you?
Me: Hello fun & friendly unemployment person. I need to extend my claim which expired a few days ago.
DLI: What was your reason for no longer working at X?
Me: None of your business. Next question please.
DLI: What is the capital of Columbia?
Me: Bogota. I'll take sciences for 100.
DLI: On the Periodic Table, what is the element for mercury?
ME: Hg. I'll take international politics for 400.
DLI: Who is the current president of Iceland?
Me: Olafur Grimsson. Now how long will it take for my claim to be processed and approved?
DLI: What is the gestation period for an elephant?
Me: Silly woman, I hail from deepest, darkest Africa. The gestation period for an elephant is 22 months.
DLI: Try filing online on Sunday. Hopefully your application will be approved by then. Good bye.
Me: WAIT! I have a ... hello?
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