Because of stupid shit like this!Okay, if you feel so direly in need to express your Christmas joy by nailing some stupid fake wreath on your front door to let passers-by know that they should expect the sounds of carolling and smells of egg nog to come eminating from your home, that's just great. More power to you. But to purposefully attach a wreath to the front grill of your car? That's just sad. Stupid and sad.
I saw one yesterday and the first thing that ran through my mind was, "oh no you didn't!" But apparently, oh yes you had. And you were proud. It's almost as sad as seeing someone walking through Wal-mart, pushing a shopping cart, and wearing a freakin' Santa hat. Please, spare us. Keep your Secret Sexual Santa fantasies for your bedroom. The fact that you actually donned that silly hat and headed out into public begs for you to be flogged.
Then of course, there are some people who think their cars are real people. Or, God forbid, an animal. And because it's the holidays, what better than say a reindeer?!
Oh I've seen you out there. And you look ridiculous. The only thing that would make you look more ridiculous was if you were out in public wearing a Santa hat. Behind the wheel of a car with fuzzy antlers and a red nose, and you wearing a big floppy red hat. Now if only you had a big black whip to flog that motor reindeer. Oh wait, maybe you could borrow one from the secret stash of the woman who puts a wreath on her car's grill.
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