All I Want For Christmas

As the worldwide economy falls sideways into the toilet, I have finally decided upon my 2008 Christmas wish list. And because I am a simple person (although not of the 'simple folk' persuasion), my wishes are easy. This is my list, in no particular order:

- a 2000 square foot yacht with anchoring rights off the coast of Spain

- a flayling commercial airline

- $10,000 worth of GM stock

- a blow-up Santa (don't ask)

- toy Smurfette (don't ask)

- wall-sized poster of Kylie Minogue

- chicken poop lip balm

- a red turtle-neck sweater with the neck bit cut off

- world peace

- the Boney M Christmas CD

- a lime-green sofa

- a leopard print Speedo

- a book deal

- the motivation to write a book about my interesting life

- a fully-paid 2-week vacation in Iran


And there you have it. In no particular order. Happy shopping!