Let's face it, this is not the most aware society in the world. It's said that Americans are only interested in what's happening here, between New York and Los Angeles. And sometimes they like to read about the scuffles that take place between the ever-friendly INS people on the border with Mexico. But why is it that when you ask an American about what he thinks with regards to the political instability in the Middle East, or even, hell, AIDS in Africa, they have their heads firmly planted right up their buttocks? Do they think that with their head up there, they won't be able to hear me asking that question? Or is it more a case of they don't want their blatant ignorance to be exposed?
According to my other good friend, urbandictionary.com, the expression to have one's head up one's ass means: 1. The condition of being absolutely oblivious to surroundings 2. Acting like an asshole. Personally, I believe most Americans fall into both 1 and 2 at some point. On the home front, for example, most remain oblivious to the goings-on around the world. China? What is that? Mexico? Yes, the 53rd state. They have their own problems to deal with. Idol banter from neighbors. Picking up the kids from soccer practice. Deciding with microwavable meal to eat tonight. And then you get the American tosser who saves up for years during high school and college, buys a backpack and decides to "do" Europe.
It's this American that falls into urbandictionary.com's 2nd explanation.
Have you ever had the misfortune of meeting an American abroad? No? Just sit down in a cafe somewhere and listen for the loudest person in the room. Chances are, he/she will be an American. If you can't find one in your cafe, take a short walk to the nearest Burger King/McDonald's/Starbucks. Americans are terrified to try anything new so they tend to congregate around familiar settings. Quite stupid really because then Ossama and his lads have a better chance of making them targets when they're all huddled together like cold sheep.
My favourite favourite 'head-up-his-ass' American is the one who walks into a shop, wants to buy something and asks the shopkeeper the price. When the shopkeeper replies in German (because we are, after all, in Idstein - a small town in Germany), our American friend, in all his ignorance, shouts at the shopkeeper and demands he speak English "like we do in America!" If his head wasn't already so far up his ass, I would have personally shoved it up there myself. What a douche bag. Thrashings for you, tosser.
But don't get me wrong. Not all Americans abroad are like this. Take for example the wonderful young Oregonian I met in Turkey. She was a little quieter than her counterpart in Germany, but still that swang came ringing through, and when asked if she was American, she appeared to be a little nervous, bit her lip, then declared, "No, I'm Canadian!" Thrashings for you, you liar! As if that's not bad enough, those poor Canadians get such a tongue trashing from those heads-up-their-asses Americans for not being as good as them, but all of a sudden, they're in Europe and they discover that the rest of the world LOVES Canadians. And absolutely ABHORES the ignorance & arrogance of Americans. So how convenient, "Oh, I'm Canadian." Yeah right. Canadians aren't loud. Canadians actually know what the hell is going on around the world. And Canadians DON'T have their heads up their asses.
End of rant.
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